EVERYTHING HAPPENS TO ME by Peter Cherches, when truth is a funny thing-- surrealistic microfictions of daily life. (9/12 Pelekinesis)

                                                     

"Bagatelles" a minimalist novel, one of five short prose  sequences, was published in Peter Cherches' 2013 collection "Lift Your Right Arm, was first published with other microfictions in Cherches' uniquely inspired 1986 collection, Condensed book.  What we now think of as "Flash Fiction" in Cherches' explorations conjure the humorous uncanny experiences of being alive, a person in a body on this planet--with the concision of a 30-second advertising spot. 

In EVERYTHING HAPPENS TO ME (September 12, Pelekinesis Books) Cherches' work explores the surreality of everyday situations that are and aren't what you think. Suppose, out of the corner of your eye, you glimpse something you can't understand but never quite forget?  Such indelible moments on the surface of the everyday life of the narrator, take unexpected turns. Our world in unfixed in a logic, we might call truth, but what sense is there in that?  A favorite below. 

The Cat Burglar 

A cat burglar crawled through my bedroom window in the middle of the night, waking me from troubled dreams. I gasped as I bolted up in bed and saw the figure halfway into my apartment. He made his way through and landed on his feet in front of the window.

“Shhh,” he said. “If you do as you’re told, nothing will happen to you. Keep your voice down. If you have something to say, say it sotto voce.” He had a black stocking over his head, like the ones that bank robbers in movies often wear. He was wearing a black T-shirt, black sweatpants, and black joggers.

 “Listen,” I said in a stage whisper, “I don’t keep too much cash in the apartment, but there’s maybe eighty bucks in my wallet, and some loose change.” Then I thought of something else. “Oh, and I also have some foreign currency—Euros, British pounds, Mexican pesos. If I think I might return to a country I hold on to the leftover cash from my last trip. There’s probably about three, four hundred dollars worth."

” “I don’t want your money!” He sounded offended. 

What else could he want? “Take my TV, then, or my stereo system.” 

“I’m not here for consumer electronics.” 

“Are you hungry?” I asked. “I could make you a sandwich.” 

“That’s very kind of you,” he said, “but I already had a burger and fries. As a matter of fact, it was at that little French place at Windsor Terrace you like so much.” 

“Le Paddock?” 

“Yeah. I had it just the way you like it, with Gruyère and bacon, medium-rare.” 

“Wait a minute, how do you know how I like my burgers, and where?” 

“Give me a little credit, dude! I do my research.” 

Why was he researching my culinary preferences? How would this help him achieve his criminal purposes, whatever they may be? “Well, what do you want from me, then?” 

“Want? I want to understand!” 

“To understand? To understand what?” 

Everything. I want to understand roots, and causes, and effects.”

“Are you talking about the meaning of life? Are you trying to find out why you’re here?” 

“No, you moron, I’m not trying to find out why I’m here!” He sounded angry. There was a long silence. Then he spoke again. “I’m trying to find out why you’re here.”

 In EVERYTHING HAPPENS TO ME going to work, to a job you have done a long time, with coworkers and a boss you can predict, becomes a transforming experience. A date with a woman of your predictable type, in a restaurant and a venue that's familiar enough to be cliched, can become an experience where the unknown strikes in a form never anticipated.  What's lovely about these stories is the humor of our illusions that we know anything about life. This book is worth the laugh, the wonder we see out of the corner of our eyes.                       

S.W.